Scum-watch: Lady Mucca returns.
You'd probably then think that I don't much care for Heather Mills, or give two shits what she thinks about anything. And you'd been right. She does however have a point about media harassment. The Sun, as you might guess, doesn't think she does:
SPARE us the crocodile tears, Heather.
Lady Mucca pops up on every TV and radio station she can find.
Only to moan she’s the victim of media harassment.
Police chiefs are so fed up with her they say she’s crying wolf.
They complain she can’t stop reaching for the panic button.
Excuse us while we reach for the off-switch.
For those of you not in the know about how Mills' has come to be known as "Lady Mucca", this new epithet came about when the Sun bought an ancient porn book/sex guide which featured Mills and some bloke in a number of risque positions, along with whipped cream, etc.
As you might well know, this derogatory nickname, coming from the Sun newspaper, which prints a topless young lady on its third page every day, runs the page 3 idol competition in which women across the country are encouraged to get their breasts out for the grand prize of £5,000, and which now operates MySun, the most barrel-scraping social-networking site on the face of the planet, which is today urging women to get them out to win a Sun photoshoot for Easter, is just slightly hypocritical.
As the Sun reaches for the off switch, it seems unlikely that Wade herself will be telling her hacks to stop writing about her. After all, since exposing Mills last June, the term Lady Mucca has appeared in the Sun at least 75 times. Among these amazing stories, which clearly prove Mills isn't being harassed, are such vitally important journalism as:
LADY Mucca spotted buying hi-fi from London's Portobello SECOND-HAND market
LADY Mucca slopes off on cheapie skiing holiday despite being offered £30m payout
A MUM says Heather Mills booted her in the bottom with her false leg in a coffee shop
HEATHER Mills shared intimate moments with her hunky personal trainer at station
HEATHER Mills booted out of supermarket — because she was once a teenage shoplifter
43% Biggest bitch? Nutta or Mucca
VOTE on our e-poll for either Lady Mucca Heather Mills or Nasty Naomi Campbell
Clearly, Mills is just a crybaby gold digger.