« Home | Losing even while they're winning. » | Terrorists are gay! » | Fascists and Islamists rise against each other's o... » | What's that smell? Oh, it's Richard Desmond's bull... » | One step closer to the truth. » | And now for something completely different... » | String 'em up by the goolies. » | He's not talking about us, is he? » | Destruction of a country (and shrine) in stages. » | The worst, most sensationalist newspaper? Why, th... » 

Monday, June 18, 2007 

How do they make the effigies so quickly?

Fat, racist cunt dies
  • Pakistan announces official day of mourning
  • Muslim Council of Britain pays tribute to legendary equal opportunity xenophobe

Bernard Manning, known universally for his carefully considered, subtle japery has died aged 76 stone.

Manning shot to fame in the 70s on the back of his premier performances for the ITV show the Comedians, reducing audiences to tears with his spirited repertoire, especially his "those darkies, eh?" gags, which won him a special place in the heart of the immigrant communities, who have never stopped exploding with laughter since.

On hearing of the sad news, the Pakistani parliament immediately adjourned the session and called for a motion on declaring an official day of mourning, which was passed unanimously. The Pakistan religious affairs minister, Mohammed Ijaz ul-Haq, was one of the first to eulogise about Manning's demise:

He may have been politically incorrect, but at least he didn't BLASPHEME like that bastard Rushdie. I call for any suicide bombers who might have thought of targeting Manning's funeral to instead hold their laughter.

The Muslim Council of Britain also issued its condolences, with Mohammad Abdul Bari confessing to how he was first smitten with the Manning bug:

It all started so innocently, with a few jokes about the mother-in-law and that charming tale about the Aristocrats. Then he launched into his fusillade about the blacks and Jews, and I just couldn't help it, I wet myself. His death is a final contemptuous parting gift from Tony Blair to the Muslim world, which he'll most likely blame on terrorists instead of his own actions in invading the Embassy club. I hope Rushdie is pleased with himself.

Other tributes are starting to flood in, much like the blacks, with Wikipedia identifying Manning as one of the top-100 knob-jockeys of all time.

Sir Salman Rushdie is burning.

Labels: , , ,

Share |

I take it you've seen the glorious front-page treatment The Sun gave him today.


Indeed. One of their better pieces, even if they included some of his tamer jokes as supposedly his "favourites". Their Glenda in a veil, as Private Eye called her, and the Sun's token Muslim, Anila Baig, also spoke of her distaste of him, which was an attempt at balance which doesn't occur very often.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, hoooooooOOOOOoooo.

How witty. How barbed. How insightful- from two Wally Herberts who never saw his live act.

True prejudice at its worst.

Well done, chaps.

*heartily pats you both on the back*

Oh, of course. Apart from Manning himself admitting that he was a racist, the fact that I found some of his non-racist gags fairly amusing, and that this was more an attack on those protesting against Rushdie than against Manning himself, but yes, this is prejudice at the worst.

My Dear Boy

Bernard was bullied into admitting he was a racist by Caroline Aherne in much the same way The Sex Pistols were set up by Bill Grundy.

Aside from that, racism serves several important purposes, two of which I shall relay here:

1. To facilitate low IQ white people to have the sense that they are elevating themselves in some way.


2. Racism can be a good thing in another sense in that it allows a person with a preset idea about a group of people have the joy of discovering on a one to one basis they were wrong. Or did I watch too many Tony Curtis/Sidney Poitier movies? Joking apart, I think this is quite a powerful human experience we are denying to ourselves here if we seek to oppress it.

What I do know, as someone who did have the pleasure of being an audience member, is race played a small (but essential for it would have been conspicuous by its absence) part of dear old departed Bernard's act. And anyway, who fucking cares if he was racist.

My big fear now is what happens next? Are the PC Brigade going to force us to laugh along with Lenny Henry, Ainsley Harriot and Ian Wright?

The big mystery is where is the Black British comedy talent? Where is the Black British Richard Pryor? It just hasn't happened, and it is with regret -observing the state of the patronised play at the moment- I have to tell you it isn’t going to.

Old Bean, you clearly have a gift with words. Maybe it comes too easy to you.Good luck fulfiling your career as a journo. But like good comedy good journalism is based in truth, and for that, like any great art, you are going to have to sweat a bit.

Best Wishes - and good luck reading The Satanic Verses.

The Prince

I agree when you say that there hasn't been a breakthrough black British comedy act on the subversive scale of Richard Pryor, but there have been plenty of British Asian comedians who have made it, or who are at least humourous: the team behind Goodness Gracious Me, Hardeep Singh Koli, etc.

I'm not denying that racism and prejudice can be a cornerstone in good comedy - we only have to look to Borat and Mel Brooks to see that, it's more that the kind of racist gags that Manning himself relied on were more on the simply offensive and not particularly amusing scale than anything those two have offered.

Thanks for the regards and comments - I appreciate any feedback. :)

Hey, thanks for responding kindly to my badly written little piece. I came over all Robin Williamsy in Good Will Hunting all of a sudden. For a failed photographer, I shouldn't really be passing on un-asked-for 'advice' to people. Like most things, at least anything beguiling to a human being, there was a duality to Bernard Manning. A paradox between his on-stage persona and his real life self. Hey, I slipped into lecturing mode again. I don't know why I felt obliged to write. Perhaps I just wanted to let people know Bernard's performances weren't like some highly charged KKK meeting, that's all.

Anyway, I will shut up. Good luck with whatever you decide to do with your gift.

May Bernard's memory live on in Bernard Righton:


The Prince

Post a Comment

Links to this post

Create a Link