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Monday, February 27, 2006 

George Michael-watch: Predictably bad tabloids.

Remember, no tabloid journalist has ever done drugs. No tabloid journalist has ever got drunk and hit their significant others. No, what the real issue here is about is to make appallingly bad front pages and puns:

The Daily Star (which along with the Sport I don't think any longer merits being referred to as a newspaper) goes with the hilarious "dope me up before you go-go" in reference to the Wham song with a similar lyric. Not that it makes any sense - he most likely doped himself up. Still, never let that get in the way of a great pun. Oh, wait.

Both the Sun and Mirror decide on printing the same headline as each other for the second time in two weeks. They choose the side-splitting "CARELESS SPLIFFER" which is a pun on a Careless Whisper, for those of you not familiar with George Michael's back catalogue. Not that he actually was being careless - being asleep in your car isn't a crime, he was just unfortunate enough to have raised concern in someone who rang for an ambulance, who in turn contacted the police. He had Class C drugs on him, which isn't even really an arrestable offence, but being George Michael the plod had to arrest him. On a day when the press could have covered the continuing anarchy in Iraq, the Tessa Jowell husband "scandal" or what I covered below, it's good to know the tabloids priorities are a washed-up pop star caught with drugs, and in the Mirror's case, yet another dossier on a dead woman. Thank you so much God, for Fleet Street. Also, I'm not exactly sure how the man who starved himself to death in jail committed revenge, or even who against, but the Sun loves a tale of death and misery. If only such plagues would strike Wapping

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