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Wednesday, January 11, 2006 

Front page-watch: Bullshit's all I see.

Yet another day on which Fleet Street plumbs the depths of its own navel:

Two dream stories for the Sun, then. One involves a footballer getting his head kicked in for chatting up one of its very own Page 3 girls, while at the bottom Sun and Blair have got together to launch their "shop a yob" campaign. The paper doesn't explain how it'll manage to make sure whether those shopped actually are "yobs", but I doesn't suppose that really matters. It did remind me of a Steve Bell strip from the time when the Sun's current ginger ninja editor published photos of alleged paedophiles on the front page of the News of the Screws:

But if you thought that was bad, you didn't count on the Diana Express:

Oh yes, the Express stands for all those values the other newspapers don't, mainly the need to print a non-news story on Princess Diana without fail every Monday. On the "marriage" is a dirty word front, what the register offices are actually doing is updating their material to reflect the civil partnerships that same sex partners can now take advantage of, by changing the word marriage to ceremony. This saves them money as they don't have to print two of everything, and doesn't incorrectly describe civil partnerships as marriage. Of course, if civil partnerships actually were full-blown marriage, the Diana Express would hardly be able to contains its bile. Still, always makes a good outraged front page.

I don't really want to describe the Daily Star as a newspaper, as that gives it a legitimacy it doesn't deserve, but who could pass up this extraordinary exclusive? It seems that Jodie Marsh has been put on "suicide watch" inside the Big Brother house, after she fell out with other housemates. That she has the necessary brain power even to know that her life is utterly worthless surprises me, so I suppose it is rather extraordinary.

Speaking of worthless, here's yet another return to Moss dross with the Times publishing her so-called return shoot. It's rather amazing that within six months you can go from being a drug addict to back on the front pages for legitimate reasons, even when Moss is still supposedly on the run from the police. Anyway, it's certainly a worthwhile excuse to print an attractive woman with hefty cleavage showing on the front page. Trebles all round to those who work on the featured newspapers!

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the daily express is a terrible racist newspaper. great to see you writing about front pages. look at this comparison of the sun and the express http://noisydecentgraphics.typepad.com/design/2005/07/newspaper_headl.html

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