Wednesday, December 13, 2006 

Scum-watch: So why isn't the tinsel up on MySpace?

Ah, Christmas. Family get-togethers, mass consumerism, parents getting into debt to buy presents for their little darlings, Christmas tree rash, Only Fools and Horses, people wearing tinsel and fucking stupid hats, horribly gaudy flashing lights on houses that make the Blackpool illuminations look sophisticated, and of course, the tabloids screaming that the whole event is being banned by politically correct idiots, despite all the evidence that suggests the event is constantly growing and lasts longer every year. The Sun has been no exception. Oliver Burkeman from the Grauniad has been eviscerating the numerous claims from the daily scandal sheets, but today's Sun claims that the Prime Minister supports their soporific campaign:

Sanity Claus

TONY Blair yesterday backed the Sun’s campaign for a Merry Christmas.

He blasted “misguided” jobsworths who want to ban Santa in case he offends Muslims.

And he took aim at killjoys for turning it into just another public holiday. Surrounded by twinkling lights and gaily decorated Christmas trees, he said: “I just think the whole thing’s daft.

“People of other faiths don’t in the least mind that Christians support and regard Christmas as a very important part of our year.”

Sour Scrooges should pipe down — and enjoy one of the few times of the year when the nation unites as a family.

Naturally, this isn't exactly what our Dear Leader said. He didn't back the Sun's predictable campaign, and he questioned whether the whole thing is being invented and vastly exaggerated. Here's the transcript from the 10 Downing Street website of his press conference:


Prime Minister, Gordon Brown and John Reid made it very clear last week that they are sick and tired of political correctness, they were particularly talking about Christmas. What is your message on that?

Prime Minister:

Well I am always amazed when I hear these stories about people saying that someone has gone and banned Christmas. I read something today in preparing for this that some vicar doesn't want to support Christmas or something. Look you never know whether these stories are true or not to be honest, because every time you look at them it turns out to be slightly less than it appears. But all I know is that as far as I understand it, people in Britain are very happy to support Christmas, that people of other faiths don't in the least mind that Christians support Christmas and regard Christmas as a very important part of our year, and I think that if there are misguided people out there who think there is something wrong with celebrating Christmas, certainly if you are of the Christian faith, then I don't think they should be taken as indicative of some great movement towards political correctness. I just think the whole thing is daft. And I tell you, if you look round this building I don't think I have ever seen so many Christmas trees as I have in this building, which is very good incidentally, he says quickly.

[party political content]

Blair in not agreeing with the Sun shock? Who would have thought it!

Elsewhere, it's time to plug MySpace, one of Mr Murdoch's recent acquistions:

MEET Tila Tequila, the bisexual former Playboy model who has become the quirky queen of MySpace.

The Hollywood 25-year-old was the first person to notch up a million mates on the hit social site earlier this year — now she has 1.6 million virtual friends.

She says: “I have been in the ‘top eight’ lists of Pamela Anderson, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Snoop Dogg on their MySpace sites, which is cool.”

Yes, this is the breathtakingly pathetic news that sad lonely people on the internet add celebrities and bands as "friends" on the site from hell. And amazingly, people who post photographs of themselves in few clothes and talk "frankly" about their "sex lives" tend to attract a lot of attention. I can't imagine why.

It's also worth noting today's front page, which gets very excited over the amount of murdered sex workers. If whoever's responsible continues their killing spree, are they going to being updating the body count in the same clearly unsensational and completely non-tasteless way?

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