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Friday, September 15, 2006 

Scum-watch: Predictably personal attacks.

The Sun and Clare Short were never likely to have a firm, friendly relationship. While Clare mellowed somewhat in her politics over the years, she continues to believe that the likes of page 3 have no place in newspapers. Her campaign for page 3 to be banned in 1986 ended in failure, but not before the tabloids had managed to purchase photographs of Short wearing a nightdress from her first husband. Those photos still crop up from time to time, along with a hilariously bad photoshop putting Short's head on a page 3 model's body.

It's hardly surprising then that today's Sun doesn't bother to spare any vitriol over Short's decision to stand down as an MP.

GOODBYE Clare Short! How happy we are to get those words off our chest.

Killjoy Clare has repeatedly tried to BAN our Page 3 girls — but now faces the boot herself because she wants Labour to lose the next election.

At least the former minister will leave us with some interesting mammaries — sorry, memories.

...her simmering resentment boiled over again two years ago when she laughably called Page 3 “porn”.

Laughably? Perhaps Rebekah Wade or Mr Murdoch would like to explain how page3.com is anything other than a pornographic website, one which contributes a considerable amount of money to News International's coffers. Recently it's been conducting a "freshers" competition, won by a gorgeous pouting lovely called "Fifi", which is a great name for a poodle but a rather stupid one for a person. The idea of sending in photographs of your spouse has long been a part of the down-market end of the porn mag industry, such as Razzle and Escort, which has been pushed into the mainstream thanks to the rise of the lads wank mags, Zoo and Nuts.

We polled 181 MPs, and found 57 per cent wanted Page 3 to stay.

Well, that's clearly an overwhelmingly high figure in favour of everyone's favourite bit of fun. Just, err, 7% more than those opposed.

The Scum Says:
CLARE “Bomber” Short has embraced every fanciful cause from Irish republicanism to banning Page 3 girls.

Now she has infuriated party bosses by calling for Labour to lose its overall majority.

But her campaign for a hung parliament has a redeeming feature – one of the seats to go would be hers.

There's a gob smacking hypocrisy in the Sun calling anyone a "bomber". The paper has been so in favour of every twist and turn on the "war on terror" that it and its owner Rupert Murdoch must personally bear some responsibility for the tens of thousands killed since September 2001. Murdoch and the Sun's passion for dropping explosives from a great height on the Iraqis wasn't out of a conviction that they deserved to be freed for a tyrant, or that the country had weapons that posed a threat to the region or even the West, although those were often set out in various leader columns - no, Murdoch's true reason for being so vociferous over Iraq was that he fell for the same neo-con trick that many others did - the belief that Iraq would so quickly be pumping out oil that prices would plummet back down towards $20 per barrel. In contrast, oil prices have sky-rocketed since shock and awe was visited on Baghdad.

Finally, it was inevitable that today's Page 3 girl "herself" would have something to say about killjoy Clare: (Thanks to Bloggerheads)

Geddit??!?! She's ugly! It's only fair then that we examine the ginger ninja herself:

Flame-haired, puckered lips, panda eyes, who could possibly resist her and her famed back hander?

As it happens, Obsolete doesn't support Clare Short's attempts to get page 3 banned, just as I find it incredibly difficult to justify banning almost anything. I do however think that if the Sun insists on publishing pornographic photographs of young women that it ought to be forced into acknowledging what is - a sensationalist, smearing, hysterical scandal sheet that is a embarrassment to any publication that actually is a newspaper. I'd also rather have an evening out with Clare Short than any of the page 3 girls or Rebekah Wade; brains, intellect and passion are far more attractive than oft-exposed frontal lobes and lies ever will be.

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