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Monday, November 04, 2013 

I WAS STITCHED UP TOO, SAYS TV'S ESTHER

The "Plebgate" scandal took a new twist yesterday when Esther Rantzen, former host of much-loved now defunct BBC1 show That's Life!, yes, the one with the amusingly shaped vegetables and the talking dogs, recalled how she too was subject to police lies.

"The officer who stopped us when we were travelling at a mere 110mph through a 30mph speed limit wrote down that my dear now deceased husband Desmond Wilcox had said to him: "I am the well-known celebrity producer Desmond Wilcox, and my wife Esther Rantzen is a TV celebrity; don't you know who we are?"

"Of course, he would never have said anything like that.  He was humble enough to know no one knew who he was, he merely said that I was Esther Rantzen, and didn't he know who I was.  Clearly, there's a few rotten apples in the barrels [sic] where this just comes as second nature.  I would have taken the matter further, but we felt we had no chance against the word of a police officer.  That, and the owners of the dog we had run over and dragged along under the car for 10 miles also didn't take kindly to the don't you know who we are argument."

Rantzen is appearing in panto this year as the Cheshire Cat.

In other news:
Dead black man latest suspect in Madeleine case, say Metropolitan police
EU support wafer thin, says Mr Creosote
Aircraft carrier contract renegotiated, vessels now to be built to float
I bedded Sir Alex Ferguson, says Sven-Goran Erikkson. "He was less hair dryer, more blow (That's enough. Ed)

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